Headlines

most of our publication is collaborative but individual headlines also make up a bulk of the content:

UVA Ranked Most 16th School in the Nation

Local Bad-At-Finances Girl Haunted By Weekly Robinhood Email Asking for Tax Information After Making $35 Off Dogecoin in 2021

HEARTWARMING: Nerd Shows up to Class With Hickey

Local Conversation Going So Bad They Start Explaining to Each Other Where They Live and Why

FAKE NEWS: I Was Not Looking Into the Living Room Window of Very Cozy White Girl-Decorated Apartment Like a Victorian Orphan at a Toy Shop on Christmas Eve

Still Pretty Good: Chipotle on Corner Better as Distant Fantasy Object Than Material Reality

BREAKING: Nerd’s Hickey Actually Bruise From Weird Hobby He Does

Professor Will Email You Back to Reject Your Extension Request Soon, They Are Just Picking Out a Piece of Corn From Their Keyboard Keys Right Now

No One Saw Professor Mouth, “Your Ass is Grass” With Threatening Hand Gestures to Student Already Down on Their Luck